Padres Cariñosos (Loving Parents)
Padres Cariñosos is an unusual program in the SAL network because it does not work directly with street kids, or even with children. Instead, it prevents youth homelessness by helping the parents who might force their children onto the street. Its goals are to “rescue the goodness inherent in parents and to prevent child abuse.”
The program validates the emotional life of children. Often in Mexico, as in many parts of the world, parents punish their sons for crying and their daughters for getting angry; not only do their wish to control their children’s bodies, but also their emotions. Padres Cariñosos shows parents how these emotions allow children to cope with the boundaries that their parents place around their lives.
Controlling emotions is only one example of how parents can overreach their authority. Padres Cariñosos teaches parents about the dynamics of power in which they live, how they oppress their children, and how others oppress them. In addition to parenting, Padres Cariñosos’ workshops always address politics, work, economics, and relationships. The workshops are a private space where parents can express the secrets that they may have hidden, so that they can “come up for air,” and show love for their children and spouses.
The greatest challenge for Padres Cariñosos is work with abusive parents. The method is unique: they attempt to break down the emotional logic of parents who say, “My parent whipped me, and a good thing, too!”
In spite of all the violence Padres Cariñosos sees, they still believe that parents are essentially good. They believe that by affirming the goodness of parents, they can relieve angst and thus allow parents to be good and kind. In many cases, abuse grows from a seed of guilt, so Padres Cariñosos attempts to excise this guilt. Parents learn how much good they can do, in spite of their difficult and complicated lives. Within this process, parents also learn self esteem, necessary to support their children, and recover the “joy” of being a mother or father.
The program is based on a methodology of co-escucha (“co-listening,” often translated as “co-counselling”), which counselors have found to be very successful with parents of all social classes. Padres Cariñosos hopes to share this model with other programs.
During workshops, which last from two to four hours, families attend voluntarily and pay on a sliding scale. This money provides a salary for the counselors, but is insufficient for the institution. Padres Cariñosos has served over 1000 families.
Padres Cariñosos
CAMINO AL MONASTERIO # 113a RANCHO CORTES, CUERNAVACA, MORELOS, MEXICO
tel: 777-3646073
o
tel: 739 395 2051
contact: Elena de Hoyos, <elenadehoyos@prodigy.net.mx>
or Hugo Rocha <hrocha@colmex.mx>
